Ah, my dear readers – I haven’t written in a while, but it was all for a good reason. I needed an inspiration, and after a long time of contemplating this issue, I realized I had the key to how we ourselves can have more compassion in our lives. It seems the general idea of compassion is that it is simply held by saints, or gods, or simply very spiritual people. But the truth of the matter is what these saints/gods/spirits were trying to tell us is we all have the capability of doing this.
Why is that, you ask? As radical as this seems, I truly believe we have all lived in every aspect of the equation – good, bad, light, dark, evil, happy, holy, sad, scared, calm, etc. Some believe in other lifetimes, and usually they explain that they lived these feelings and ideals in past lives. However, we have all done good or bad in our lives, and we know it. We have all done shameful things, and we have all done stuff to redeem ourselves. This is simply a process of life. So why do we block ourselves from being compassionate with others who make or have made mistakes? Why do we let this stop us from reaching this inner peace, not only with ourselves, but with our environment?
A few days ago, someone was telling me about a conference call she was in. A person during it seemed to be having trouble with simply letting self-healing occur, since they kept on insisting that the other callers pray for them, especially the moderator. Suddenly someone chimed in, saying “I have lupus, what should I do?” with the calmest voice. Of course, it is easy to say the first person was simply crazy and look, there is someone who is actually sick and is asking what they can do to help themselves. This is an easily frustrating situation, but if you can look at all angles, you will see how to connect with someone who is so disconnected, and help bring them back up. The key? Compassion.
In a normal setting, where people have what we call high values and integrity, it is easy to try to make someone snap out of it. Psychology has brought us tons of remedies, such as medications and psychotherapy. It is tempting to stick to this, but something I have learned is that people don’t respond well when they are told something without the other person seeing them eye to eye. It is easy to get mad and say the person really has no excuse. My general experience with psychologists and psychiatrists is that they will stay in their own energy/vibrational level, and never really see eye to eye with their patients, resulting in a situation where the patient feels like there is really and truly something very wrong with them, giving them no hope for themselves and nor for their doctors.
Now, you don’t have to have a degree to help others (obviously, I am still in college). But the key to helping someone is simply seeing them in “Christ” eyes, or “Kwan Yin” eyes (and I don’t say Christ as in christianity, or any religious affiliation, but simply as a model of compassion). See the person as someone who has a lot of potential for good, who IS good, and is simply blocking themselves in some way. In the example with the conference call, you can see someone who is desperate, and they truly believe they are not well (even if they weren’t diagnosed with anything). Now, picture yourself as them… focus on this desperation, the fear, the need to have others caring for you, the constant wanting for something more… Think about what could’ve made them this way.. a traumatic event? Being spoiled as a child? Low self esteem? It can be any number of things… now feel the energy, how low it feels… no wonder they were freaking out, huh? This is essentially the best time to talk to someone, when you can get to that vibrational energy that matches them. Explain that you completely and totally see where they are coming from, that you feel what they feel… trust me, they’ll know you’re there too because when you can match that energy, you can get them to understand why you are trying to help. From there, you can help them with how to get themselves back out.
The key here is to be able to pull yourself back up and know that those feelings you felt were not you right now. They were simply you representing someone else, even if at one point in your life you did something similar.
There are many examples to use this for – something I plan on writing more about. Every aspect of your life, you can do this. It is easy to judge someone and say you would never do that because you have never done anything like that or even conceive something like that. It can be from terrorists to simply people who make a small bank error. You CAN feel what others feel, it just takes a bit more work than normal for us.
Please remember, if you cannot get yourself to a different energy level and be able to pick yourself up, it is essential that you work on you first before you do anything like that. A lot of emotional people can’t handle more emotions other than their own. It is essential that they work on themselves first.
Stay tuned for my next blog on another example where you can get yourself to feel others’ emotions and practice compassion. In the mean time, try to see how others view their own world, especially someone you find particularly frustrating. :)