Posted by: waterbaby87 | October 25, 2009

Learning How to Pivot – Day 2

Sorry for the long time between posts! Before I begin, I want to honor a dear buddy of mine – Polka – who died yesterday at noon. I tried my hardest to medicate her and give her lots of love, but alas, it was her time to go.

I had her for 2.5 years, and she was the sweetest weather loach! She knew when it was time for food, she let me pet her, she even fed off a flake I had in my hand once. Yes, fish do have personalities 🙂 She also was notorious for sticking by other tankmates if they ever got sick. Well, that paid off because her other loach buddy Toastie was by her side the whole time until I had to get her in the quarantine tank. So please give your blessings to her (give her thanks!) – she made a lot of us smile, including my mom, who wasn’t so fond of “eel-like” fish until I got weather loaches.

Back to Learning How to Pivot –

Situation 2: The Angry One

RAWR!

Ah, yes, we’ve encountered these before. I’m talking about the angry guy – the person you have no idea why they’re so angry, but you know they are.

What do you do about it? Let’s see… some would get angry too, and snap back. Others would feel victimized, mope and feel bad (just like the first group but their reaction is different)… it really depends from person to person. Some will get passive aggressive too just to get back at the angry person. Think about a situation where you encountered someone like this, be it a parent, sibling, friend, complete stranger… How did YOU react?

I see this a lot in my circle of friends and family. I often feel bad because the solution is quite simple but it takes a bit to get to that point where you can react in the ideal way at the drop of a hat. I know.. I sometimes still have issues myself, lol!

Here’s where we’ll begin. We need to get inside the head of the angry person. Why are they so angry? Is it something you did? But no wait, you just got into the situation and you don’t think  you did anything? Or you think it really was you?

You will encounter people who are just… naturally angry. All the time. Sometimes you will encounter those who let even the smallest things tick them off. Some you will encounter and they are just having a bad day/week, and they will take it out on you. But do you notice none of these things have anything to do with you? (Important side note here: What if you really did do something wrong? The truth is usually a person can handle these situations in a better way than just getting angry. )

I’m going to take a lesson I learned from one of my heroes… yes, you must all be familiar with this one, LOL! Bear with the long lesson – it’s so worth it!

Cesar Milan and Daddy

Cesar Milan and Daddy

Cesar Milan teaches on his show, The Dog Whisperer, that when you encounter an angry or frustrated dog, you don’t ever respond back with anger or frustration, because it essentially leads to more anger and frustration. You end up not putting the correct effort to fix your dog. The majority of the show, however, deals with fixing the human more than anything, because it leads to “fixing” the dog (quotation marks because the truth is in the dog world, if there’s something wrong with your dog, there’s something wrong with you. They’re excellent indicators of our emotions and our lives! Little angels sent down to help us out 🙂 ).

He then has you change your “energy”… your moods/emotions/feelings. You can’t think about how angry this dog makes you because the dog feels it and starts to get even angrier. Even though we don’t consciously notice it sometimes, the truth is we can feel other peoples’ energies without a problem. So essentially, we are at the same playing level as the dog. Cesar Milan has you change your attitude – and explains to you a bit more about how a dog’s mind really works while you try to ground yourself. Some dog owners get frazzled by Cesar’s calm demeanor when he enters a home and immediately calms a “hopeless” dog down, but that’s something he has acquired through many many years of emotional discipline. Just remember… this is something ANYBODY can do. There are never any exceptions when it comes to improving yourself.

Calm and assertive

"Calm and assertive"

So the dog owners start to pick up on Cesar’s energy, and suddenly they get it! Voila! You’ve got a calm and happily submissive dog on a leash, walking through your neighborhood full of small  loud children that would normally get that dog all riled up. The owners walk tall and proud, almost like a noble monarch with a staff – calm, cool and yet assertive. You’ve done what you needed with the dog, the dog is bringing about what you brought about, and look at you now! Ahh, the world is at peace again.

Remember the law of physics I explained about attracting more things with your vibrational frequency? This is essentially what Cesar Milan is teaching the American dog owners, without getting “weirdly spiritual” about it.

So tying that into the human world, you see this in any situation. If you see two people fighting, you just see a clash of emotional intensity from both sides. There’s not one side that has brought in a calm energy, or love (love doesn’t always have to pertain to romantic or family relationships). And is that fight fruitful? Majority of the time, no, it isn’t.

I have encountered that just not feeding into the energy is what leads to a more successful encounter with “angry person”. When you’re in a calm state, you can see this person yelling or being just rude, and notice how badly you feel for them because the truth is, there’s something very wrong with them that has them that unbalanced. Same with dogs – we feel bad when we see a beaten up dog, correct? and now he doesn’t trust anyone so he snaps at any hand that comes close? Well, you don’t just sit there and feel bad (if you want to get moving in a positive way) – you just change YOUR attitude about the situation.

Dont mind the iStock watermark. Who pays for digital images anyway???

Don't mind the iStock watermark. Who pays for digital images anyway???

First off, you know what you did “wrong” and what you did “right”. If you know you didn’t do anything wrong, just let them go off and try to get all upset with you. You have enough self confidence in yourself to know you didn’t do anything wrong and the truth is there’s no reason to have to prove it. You just let them keep doing what they’re doing. If you know you did something wrong, just be honest and apologize in a calm manner.

But that person isn’t feeding off of you because you’re not giving back negative energy! Now what? They might get louder, they might get even more mean… but don’t worry, that’s just the peak of it. It’s like seeing Cesar Milan try to drain the energy out of an angry dog by letting them bite on a tennis racket or shoe or whatever. Let “angry person” get it out of their system. Soon, they will be too exhausted to say anything else.

Usually after not being responsive, or you calmly asserted yourself in the situation (you made a point without raising your voice or getting upset, and let it go), that person will either apologize or just continue moping in their misery. It’s okay. It’s their deal, not yours.

Blessing in Disguise

“What is this person here suppose to teach me?”

Wow, you’ve encountered an angry person! But the cool part is they’ve taught you so much in simply one session.

1) You’ve learned to not let someone else’s emotions dominate your own. You are, essentially, choosing to be happy.

2) It’s their problem, not yours. This is so important to remember. The “angry person” is angry because they simply choose to be, and there are probably a number of issues underlying in there that you’re not responsible for. Let them deal with it.

3) Love and calmness is all you’ll ever need. It’s true! All you need is a calm demeanor and self confidence (I love using humor as well! Laughter is the best way!). With that attitude, you can get anything you want in life, such as happiness and abundance.

So I challenge you, my reader, to try this next time you encounter an “angry person” situation. You can ask yourself if you even did anything wrong, but always remember to keep your emotions down. If you can’t handle it at first, learn to just walk away. It’s that simple 🙂 This method works on just about anyone, even the persistent annoying ones.

xoxo,

WaterBaby.

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Responses

  1. Thank you my baby!
    Very wise. 🙂

  2. anger ey… i never really get angry – i def try not to be 😉 taking it all easy , eeeeee!


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